Clotted cream. Cornish cream. Call it as you wish.
I never knew such a thing existed. Thick, 60% fat, silky and meltingly delicious. Just look at those spikes, no other thing can replace it. Uh, better not check that weight after all this festivities are gone... And imagine they even put it in their tea, no wonder why some English are traditionally built.
Here with mince pies: